Vague..ness

Going back to school tomorrow.
 Im looking forward to it.
I think.
Well, I know I am.
 Just.. weird, you know? Spending christmas with your family, only to go back to school and pretend nothing ever happened. Well, I know it did happen, but that doesn't stop it feeling like it didn't. There's loads of stuff, I want to do, but I never get time, or people aren't in the right moods.
 But, im not all depressed about it, just because its my first christmas like this, thats all.
It'll change, im sure of it. After all, i've been through worse.
 And you've been there, havent you? Well, most of you. I think almost all of you really, even if you haven't been reading this.
 Heck, I don't even read this.
 Just let it flow.
Feel like a fool when I re-read it.

Not gonna lie though, I've missed my friends, all of them, a hell of a lot, excuse my language.
 So much, im not sure a single waking moment has gone by when I haven't been thinking about one of them, or their reactions to things. I think I finally have decent friends, that will stick by me.
Which is nice.
 Still can't spell properly. But.. eh.

Still doesn't get over the fact that tomorrow's going to be hard. Very hard.
 But I have a new task, this blog needs a new header, the old one is.. well.. old.
So I'll have to do something about that, or at least try. Maybe use one of my many dragons. Or multiple ones.
No promises.

I'll get over it. Because I do.
 Don't you worry.
Not that I thought you were gonna.
 Typical though, isnt it?
I start back on my blog a few days before leaving again.
 Guess thats when I need to start writing down feelings. Why do they get in the way? Feelings. I can see why the Cybermen got rid of them, they get in the way. But then, I guess we wouldn't have imagination without them.
Not my important feelings though, no-one needs to hear those. They're just for me..my innermost thoughts.. about things..

The winds really blustery. I kinda like that. Helps me think.. to concentrate, I don't really know why.. it's just sort of.. comforting. You'know? Well, I suppose you probably don't.
Anyway. Incase I don't write tomorrow. Have a nice.. however long it is till I next write. :)

 -Moi

First post of 2014!

Hey guys/gals!
 Yeah, I'm still alive. :)
Happy new year!
Merry Christmas!
Or you know, whatever it is now. I kinda loose track of time.
I did actually write whilst I was at school, I'll post that in just a second, just have to say, I meant it at the time, I still kinda do, but the next day I found something out that changed my disposition slightly. :)
So, without further ado, here's a rant!;

It’s not a disorder you know. Autism. I don’t care what people say, Autism is not, and never shall be, a disorder. How can it be? We’re gifted.
 We may be disadvantaged in so many different ways, and not fit properly into society, but by the gods, are we not human?
 People don’t call those in wheelchairs a wheelchair disorder or something do they? So how is it that this is one? We’re not that different, we just need help. Like people in wheelchairs need help, or the elderly, just some guidance. That’s all. Disorder. A disruption of order. Order? What part of any human’s life is ordered? We don’t go around with massive check lists and follow routines to the letter. Sure, we may have them, but I don’t think there is a single person out there who’s never been late, early, or forgotten something, it’s in our nature.  I might hate every minute of being ‘different’ but what I hate more than that, is being referenced to as if I’m some page in a book of problems, fed up of reading next to my name ‘Suffers from Asperger’s.’ Suffers from? I’m not suffering. Yes. I get angry, yes, I cannot control my emotions properly and have trouble expressing myself and say the wrong things a lot. Yes, I don’t really understand much of social life, but I think I understand more things better than ‘normal’ people. I understand that life is not forever, and that what I do right now, affects the rest of my life. I know that I have difficulties with some things, but I’m okay at others. I might never grow up to be an artist, or a writer, or anything I want to do. But it doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. Because if you only get one life, why would I want to spend it wasting my time not achieving my goals? I’m at a special school now, to help me with my problems, and encourage me at other things. We’re working on my confidence, little by little, I’m learning about what I need to say to be ‘normal’ I’m learning the mould I need to fit in for the rest of my life, or at least most of it. But I’m happier than I have been in a long time. Surrounded by people like me, some of them need more help than others, but we all kind of help each other. Every minute of every day, just by being around, showing that there are other kids like us. That you’re not alone in what would appear to be a vicious world. That someone does actually care, who is not in your family.
How am I to explain to a world so firmly set in its ways that we’re like them? We’re no different, we just need a little more care and help than most. Because like those in wheelchairs, we have issues we need help getting over. But because our ‘disorder’ is not physical, you cannot see it. People overlook us, shove us away, and bully us. Do we deserve to be bullied? Is it our fault we were born like this? I don’t think so.So if you only learn one thing from this. Learn that just because a child is having a ‘breakdown’ doesn’t mean it’s bad parenting, maybe that child has some problems, maybe the parent is trying their very hardest, but just can’t calm them down. Maybe you should ask, and not just judge based on first impressions. Because if anything hurts us, it’s the looks people give you when you have problems that aren’t your fault that hurt the most.And I’m tired of being labelled as different or wrong, no-matter how gently people put it

Quite a rant, amiright?
But.. anyway.
My imagination's come back :D
I have a new story rolling through my head, this doesn't mean my old one is dead, I still write bits in my GCSE work. It's just sleeping, untill I've sorted things out, and gathered more information.
I have more stuff! Arty stuff :D
And I taught myself basic choice script programming. :D
I really hope your life is going good, if not... well. I want to fix it. But.. if I can't, I'm sorry.

-Me

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